Building my writing community

On a radio interview with an author a few months ago, I heard a bit of wisdom that has stuck with me. (Unfortunately, I didn’t catch the writer’s name, and extensive web searches haven’t turned up the interview, so I can’t credit the idea.) 

It went something like this: only about half of the writing journey is about the actual writing. The second half is about getting it in front of people, to get their reactions and feedback so you can make the writing better.

When I took creative writing classes in college, this kind of community was built in. We workshopped our fiction with other aspiring writers. Here, we learned how to improve our critiques of others (to be diplomatic but honest, fair and balanced, and above all, constructive) and how to thicken our skins as we received our own critiques with grace and curiosity. If we grew from this experience, we became better writers in the process, and our work improved. 

I always wanted to build a long-term community of other writers after leaving college, and I’ve tried a lot of things over the years. I envy the authors who thank their writing groups in their acknowledgements: “To my first readers, who have been with me through since the beginning of writing this book.” What an amazing gift, to have a team on your side cheering you on, getting to know your style, and helping you shape your work. 

It’s just that…it’s really hard to find that exact right community.

The trial and error of finding the right communities

Gabriela Pereira of DIY MFA writes that an author needs four things from their writing community: critique, accountability, support, and advice. 

Early on, I was thinking about writing groups as all-in-one resources to cover all these things. Before the advent of Zoom, I tried starting or joining established in-person groups or using email or messaging apps to trade and workshop stories; later, I joined a couple of “virtual” video-based groups. All of these groups eventually fizzled. Here are some things I learned from these experiences:

• Similar genres matter. It’s very difficult to be in a writing group with people who aren’t writing the same genres you are (or that you read). I’ve inevitably ended up grouped with fantasy, horror, and sci-fi writers over the years, and I simply do not enjoy reading a lot of that work and get impatient with it—whereas those writers find my work boring or too internal.

• Matching experience levels is important. Groups in which some members are still trying to figure out how to structure a story or are only dabbling, while others have published and write seriously and regularly, never work. The more experienced members become impatient (or preachy, which sucks for everyone else), and the less experienced ones develop imposter syndrome  or start to lose interest. 

• Critique communities don’t necessarily fit all community needs. Good critique partners are worth their weight in gold, but they aren’t necessarily prepared to cheer you on, check in on your progress, or share their own learnings—and they aren’t always good at that stuff. Sometimes CPs can be harsh. It may be what you need for your work, but not necessarily for your writing journey.

• Not everyone is always producing at the same pace. When I was just starting out, I wasn’t writing regularly; joining groups where everyone was expected to trade stories once or twice a month could be stressful. Inevitably there are two or three members who contribute regularly, and others who get busy or just aren’t as prolific at the moment, and that makes it hard to keep the momentum of the community going.

• There’s always one bad fit. I’ve encountered them everywhere: the community member who doesn’t deliver feedback in the way you need. I’m being diplomatic here. My experience has included: crit partners who totally trash my story, reviewers who rewrite my work in their own style and voice to “make it better,” and community members who act superior to everyone else in the group. My biggest learning is to gracefully extract myself from a bad fit as fast as possible, because while I love and crave honest feedback about my work, I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. 

What’s working for me now

Instead of continuing to try to make groups work, I’m balancing a number of different mini-communities for different needs:

Critique

I’m developing a bench of dedicated 1:1 long-term critique partners. I used a Google Group to find writers who are working on similar kinds of projects: upmarket novels, mysteries, and short fiction, and I’m starting to build relationships with them by trading and giving feedback on each other’s work. 

I also have a few writing friends in the wings who are always up for giving critiques if needed, and I’ve semi-successfully used some online groups, including Critique Circle and the members-only Women’s Fiction Writers Association Critique group on Facebook. 

Accountability

What I’ve needed for accountability in the past is different from what I need now. When I was first building a writing practice and just trying to get butt-in-chair to write regularly, I needed dedicated writing time that I was less likely to ignore or forget about. For this I’ve frequently used Shut Up and Write groups, which used to be all in person but now often happen over Zoom and across time zones.  Other online groups I’m in offer open Zoom rooms where writers can pop in, and our local Live & Write in Alameda community does several online and in-person “write-ins” every week.

I also recently started trading emails at the beginning and end of the week with a couple of writer friends who are actively trying to make progress on projects each week. We share our goals for the week on Mondays, and report out on what we accomplished at the end of the week, along with some samples of the writing we did. I push myself a little harder when I need to report out on my goals to other people!

Support 

It didn’t occur to me that I needed support until I started writing in earnest—I eventually learned that writing can be a lonely business. Friends who aren’t consumed by this weird obsession don’t understand at all the slow pace, the very minor wins, the way the first few rejections on a new piece can make you feel blue for a few hours, the thrill of a breakthrough on a block in your story that’s been confounding you. I’d love nothing more than to spend hours talking about these things, because I think about them all the time, but most of the people in my life grow glassy-eyed within a few minutes of any kind of author talk. 

I’m hoping to turn some of my accountability communities into support communities too, over time. My hope is that we’ll be able to share our little wins and losses and hopes and dreams with each other as we get to know each other’s projects, goals, and weekly milestones. 

I should also mention that I do get a lot of support from my family and friends—my husband picks up a lot of slack so I can write, my daughter cheers me on, and my friends read my work and share my social media posts and come to my silly little readings. I’m eternally grateful for them all!

Advice

Writers, thankfully, are a generous bunch. There is a ton of free advice online from experienced writers, and a lot of groups where folks share their own experiences and resources for anything someone’s going through, from querying agents to legal questions to writing about certain topics, and more. Here are some of the best groups and resources I’ve found for great advice (note: some of these are groups aimed at women):

• Binders Full of Novelists

• Women’s Fiction Writers Association

• The Author’s Guild 

• The Writing Gals 

• Sisters in Crime

I also know so many accomplished writers—and am hoping to get over my shyness to pick their brains about their own successes. 

While this all seems like a lot to manage, I love having the variety in my community to draw from for the different needs I have as a writer. And as I learn more myself, I also am enjoying giving back and helping others as much as I can. Having this rich community not only keeps me on track and growing, but helps turn writing into something pleasurable and enriching—and no longer lonely.